Mid Year Confusion

I’m not quite sure at this point where all of this is going. I came in to Transart strictly as a portrait painter. In Berlin I discovered that in many art circles, portrait painting is not pillared as something valuable in contemporary art. I attempted to spark other modes of making in my brain but nothing came that seemed did not seem convoluted so I continued to paint embarking on a project about truth in portraiture (a true portrait). When presenting this project at the New York residency, the project seemed to have lost its legs for me, but I became more interested in the concept of race in portraits. Meanwhile, at the New York residency, there was one leg of the course where the class went to “"Printed Matter”—an art book store. I picked up and was entranced by a book titled, Some Monster Loomed Large, which was this apocalyptic tale with very very few words starring an every-man/wolf-man done in pen and ink. In my studio, I have done a few more paintings but have mostly been practicing with pen and ink on paper in preparation for (a book?) (but of what?) (and what would this pen and ink book have to do with mt research on race in portraiture?) I feel like I can find a connecting thread somehow but I don’t want it to be convoluted or forced. I am happy to have evolved from my customary work (inviting people over and painting their portraits). I am happy to be enthralled by another medium (pen and ink in book form). I am happy with how my research paper is coming together because it is confronting some very important issues in my work and in the art world at large. I just don’t know how all this will come together.